I’m finding that grief is not something you go through and it's gone.

Days weeks months go by and I’m okay then something reminds me of you and I’m in tears again.

My mom told me don’t put flowers on My grave after I’ve dyed if you want to give me flowers give me flowers while I’m living.  My heart is just as strong today as it was the day she died almost 35 years ago I keep telling myself I should be over this I will never be over it until God tells me home.

I’ve lost just about every family member except a child I pray to God that that one thing you will spare me from. I lost a mother who carried me and said her for nine months I lost a father who stood by me no matter what the cost to him I lost it but I lost brothers who said mess with my sister and you mess with me I lost a sister there was a friend and much more I lost a nephew that was as close as a child I've lost friends uncles and cousins grandparents United I've lost them.

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be renewed yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant with my people should be removed saith the Lord who has compassion on Isaiah 5 and 10.

I remember Joe he lost everything but he never lost his faith in God I’m writing down these things to help me process and learn and learn the lesson God has for me the Lord gives me strength.

I will eventually die as the ones before me did I don't feel afraid when my time comes I don’t fear because the source is my comfort and my strength is in God. Never give up on your faith hold on to it death is a mystery to us only God sees the full picture God knows how the events will play out in his perfect plan.

Sometimes the only way to help a grieving friend is just pray for the person .sometimes the only way to move on is to share share pictures share favorite memories share favorite food.

Grief is debilitating after my dad died I was relieved I shouldn’t have been relieved I had spent the last month watching him and trying to give him something to live for. I love my dad and I was relieved he had was gone I was relieved his pain was gone I could never rest in the stress was gone.

The anger I had that God was still there why should I be angry at God when he just answered the prayer I’ve been praying my prayers were to take the pain away let my dead rest. Got to take the pain away and now he’s resting in heaven.